EFFECT OF DIVORCE ON CHILDREN

Every child assumes its mother and father will always stay together. Especially little children take this for granted and there is no doubt in their minds that this will ever change. When the situation suddenly does change because of a divorce the child’s trust will be put to the test. A divorce is only the beginning of a series of changes that will take place in the child’s life.

BACH FLOWER ESSENCES SUPPORT THE CHILD VERY STRONGLY

During a divorce the child will go through a whole series of emotions and experiences. Experience has shown us that Bach Flower Essences help very well when processing all of this and learning to deal with this new situation. They will make sure the divorce will cause little to no emotional damage to the child.

· Suddenly everything changes

After a divorce the child will need to live with only one of its parents, so he/she will need to adjust to not having both parents taking care of him/her. Or in the case of a co-parenting divorce the child will need to learn to live with the weekly travelling back and forth between mother and father. Often the child needs to move therefore their homely surroundings change as well. Even the day-to-day routine of eating together, having a bedtime story are not the same anymore. Bach Flower Essences make sure that the child will not get too shaken up by all these changes so he/she can adjust to the new situation.

· Guilt feeling

Often the child will feel guilty about the divorce. This even happens when the parents haven’t done anything to cause this. They assume the role they played in it was bigger than what it actually was. Especially toddlers can take the blame for the divorce on themselves. Flower essences will take this guilt feeling away and help them see there is no reason for blaming themselves.

· Fear

Divorce brings on fear: fear to be abandoned completely, to not be loved anymore, to have fate decide and many more fear responses. Flower essences will make sure this fear will be replaced by a feeling of trust. They will experience trust and courage to deal with this new situation.

· Anger and hatred

After the divorce some children will experience anger towards their parents. This anger is mainly related to the feeling of being abandoned by one of the parents. This often occurs when the divorce is cause by a third person involved, then this anger even deep-seated hatred can become the primary emotional expression of the child. Bach Flower Essences will turn this anger or hatred into a more loving attitude.

· Shame

Although divorce happens often still a lot of children are ashamed about it. They find it hard to talk to their peers about it because they are ashamed. Sometimes shame will start to play a role in their life as they can’t afford as much on a material basis. Bach Flower essences will resolve this feeling of shame and make them see that they don’t need to be ashamed about their parents divorcing.

· Go into isolation

We will see children isolating themselves after a divorce. They show little emotion as if the divorce doesn’t effect them. However often here the opposite is true. They are dealing with the divorce by themselves and don’t talk to anybody about it. They will isolate themselves and retreat into their own world. Bach Flower Essences will help them remain in contact with their environment and talk about their feelings so they don’t go inside themselves which would otherwise cause bigger problems in the future.

· Trauma and grief

Sometimes the divorce comes as a complete surprise to the children, they hadn’t seen it coming at all. As they hadn’t thought their mother and father would ever get a divorce, therefore the divorce can cause a shock and result in a big trauma for the child. Bach Flower Essences will help deal with this trauma and the grief connected to it.

BACH FLOWER ESSENCES COMBINATION N°57 “DIVORCE-CHILDREN”

Bach Flower Essences combination n° 57 helps to:
· Deal with the trauma of a divorce
· Reduce the grief
· Be able to adjust easier to changes
· Not have guilt feelings about the divorce
· Stay peaceful and calm
· Reduce the anger towards the parents
· Reduce the fears within themselves
· Not be ashamed about it
· Remain in contact with their friends